Having listened to the relationship woes of people far too many to count, I have observed that breakups are significantly more detrimental for girls especially when the guy leaves her for someone else. Her self esteem is crushed because the rejection is unimaginably painful for her. She is overwhelmed by negative emotions. And this drives her to emotional vulnerability.

Breakups like this can move a person to seek immediate solace in the company of someone else. The void left by this heartbreak makes one yearn for another person’s understanding and acceptance. The sudden loss of affection and security caused by the former partner’s abandonment can push an individual into the arms of anyone who is available. And this is where the danger lies.

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It reaches the point where a girl may no longer be considering the character of the man she entertains next. She becomes blinded by this desperate need to be loved once more that she no longer cares who the next guy is. By having her sense of self worth shattered by the former lover, all that matters to the girl now is that she is valued once more.

Many girls I know have gotten pregnant because of such desperation. Due to their vulnerability, they inadvertently allow themselves to be sexually taken advantage by the next guy whom they erroneously believed genuinely loved them. Little did they know that some men are predators looking for emotionally weak girls to victimize. The sad story of a girl who was made pregnant by three different men, all of whom abandoned her comes to mind.

The message here is not about avoiding falling in love. Rather it is about being prepared for what could happen after an unexpected breakup. It is therefore advisable to heal first in order for one to regain emotional strength and recover self worth before loving again.

By Haadi